wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
