Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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