no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
