i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
