My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
