This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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