I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
