i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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