Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
