You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
