he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize