i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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