Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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