do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Floor bacon is actually really good
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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