In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize