i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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