How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
