dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
