3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
