she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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