dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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