guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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