dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
What a dumb baby whore.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
