i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
