I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
