i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize