I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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