His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
