I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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