Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
