Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I know her cup size but not her name....
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