like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
