A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
