You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
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