By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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