I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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