I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
