Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Randomize
