I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She told me I should be a condom model.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
