i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
