I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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