You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I need to align my fucking chakras
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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