I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
