I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
