My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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