Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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