i think i have two assholes
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
