Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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