I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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