It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
