He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
