You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
im on a boat
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