These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Randomize
