I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
