I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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