whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Randomize
