I wish I only lived at night.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
