Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
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